Living for the Weekends

Wow.. it has been a while since I have been here.  Shame on me- must be why my head feels so full!  Too much thinking and contemplating and not enough dumping.

My most recent brain circus is about life and people choose to live it.  I’ve noticed on Facebook that over half of my friends have their statuses reading “can’t wait for the weekend”, “so glad it is almost Friday”, “is the workweek over yet?”, “happy hump day”.  I thought about something my Dad said to me when I was a teenager…..

I was sitting in the passenger seat of his car and he was driving somewhere (school most likely.)  I said “God.. I can’t wait until the weekend” it was like.. Tuesday.  He said to me “If you are going to live the rest of your life like that, you are going to miss out on a lot of excellent days in between those weekends.  Also, if you are living like that, you are living your life the wrong way.”  I had forgotten about that bit of advice until I started seeing these statuses pop up on Facebook.

I decided to Google this little issue and see what is out there.  I stumbled across an article quoting a psychologist explaining that if we aren’t careful, we end up living for weekends and vacations.  They offer some tips on how to prevent this from happening in your life.  Check it out here.

I know that in my own life times when I have been caught up in this weekend life mentality has been when I’ve been in a job that robbed myself of my spirit and passion.  Those of us who work full time spend the majority of our waking life at work.  It stands to reason that when this world is out of sync with our happiness, we suffer- big time!

I think I will change my status… telling my friends what I think.

Blessings For Abby

May the Lord give His angel charge over you, to guide you in all your ways. Psalm 91:11

Today is Abby’s Christening day.  It is early in the morning, and the sun is just starting to peep up into the sky, and light up this glorious day.  We just can’t wait for this day to begin, and enjoy this very special day with our precious Daughter.

Rev. Mark will be Christening Abby today, and we are so very happy about that.  He married Bill and I, and has been a tremendous source of support and inspiration since meeting him.  We feel very blessed to have him in our church and our lives.

I was here looking at Abby this morning thinking what a shame it is that she won’t remember today.  Then I thought about all of the pictures and the video she will someday see.  She’ll know how loved she is, and how many of her family and friends were there to witness such a wonderful moment for her.

Abby has the best Godparents chosen for her- Nicole and Tim.  Nicole was the maid of honour in our wedding, and Tim was one of Billy’s Groomsmen.  They are fantastic people, and people we hope Abby will attempt to emulate in her life.  We feel that we really have gotten this one right, and we are so thankful to have both of them as such an inspirational part of Abby’s life.  Abby is truly blessed with many wonderful role models in her life- especially her surrogate Aunties- you know who you are.

So, I send good thoughts out into the universe this morning for blessings for my Daughter and prayers that God will watch over her forever.  I pray that he will guide her always, and help her understand that when life doesn’t quite work out as we plan, there is always a lesson behind it. 

I love you Abby.

Just Reach Out

My Grandmother lived across the street from her Brother for 40 years, and they never spoke a word to each other in those 40 years.  He died last week and everyone is pretty screwed up about it.

My family is known to put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional, but for the most part I think we’re a pretty good lot.  We have our issues and skeletons like most families, but some parts are a little insane.  My Dad’s family seems to be full of this whole “your dead to me… I’m not going to talk to you” mentality.  I swore I would break that chain with the generation I bring into the world- so far it is working.  Although… how much does a 5 month old really care if you stop speaking to her?

The story goes something like this…..

My great uncle Bobby was 7 years younger than my Grandmother.  He ended up marrying a pretty insane woman.  So insane, that she cut him off from his family.  Now, he is a grown man and he didn’t have to oblige- but he did.  Once he married her, he told his family that he was no longer one of them.  She was a royal nut case- even ripped the shirt off my Father’s back on one occasion- yes, literally ripped it off.

My Grandmother found out about his death in the newspaper obituary section- how sad.  They didn’t even name his 2 Sisters or his Brother.  It simply said: “Survived by 2 Sisters and 1 Brother.)  I guess psycho wife got her digs in right until the end.

I called my Grandmother last night to see how she was doing, and to offer my sympathies.  She sounded sad.  She told me about how you always think there is time left to mend fences.  She told me how she wished that she had of just walked over there and reached out to him, and when the witchy woman tried to keep her away, that she should have just pushed right past her anyway.  Regret- it honestly has to be the worst feeling in the world.

My heart hurts today for my Grandmother because of the feelings of regret she must be feeling, but also because her Brother was so cruel to her.  My Grandmother lost her Daughter (my Aunt) and the age of 42.  When her Brother was called and told about it by his other Sister, he didn’t even bother to call my Grandmother.  Having a Brother myself, I just can’t bear the thought of how that would make me feel.

During our conversation last night, my Grandmother told me stories about when her and her Brother were small.  She remembered arriving home at the age of 7 to find a midwife in the kitchen of her family home.  In her arms was a small baby boy getting a bath in front of the kitchen stove.  She remembered being totally amazed.  In her words “I had no idea where babies came from!” She said they were like peas and carrots from that moment on.  Every Saturday she would go to visit her girlfriend who lived on a farm miles away from her home.  She would carry her little Brother on her back (both ways) so he could play with her friend’s little Brother.  Pretty amazing I think.

I pray today that my Grandmother can find the peace she needs right now.  I pray that I can learn from this experience of hers and do my best to live as though tomorrow might not come. 

There is a special friend I have- more like family she is.  She reads my blog a lot.  She is in a similar situation with her own Brother.  He is married to a witch too.  My friend and her Brother have been at odds for some time now.  I know he is being a big idiot to her and that she really didn’t do much wrong in what went down.  However, will it really matter if he were gone tomorrow?  She would more than likely be feeling exactly how my Grandmother is feeling this week.  So, my special friend- don’t let it linger too long.  I will die inside to watch you hurt, and I know you will if the unthinkable ever happens while this turmoil swirls around you.  Just reach out.

Rest in Peace Aunt Skin…

My Godmother died today.  She was 80 years old, and it was her time.  She was suffering, and in pain, and I know she longed to be with her husband (my Godfather) again.  You see, he passed away 6 years ago.  I honestly thought she would go quickly after him.  They are one of those couples you always hear about, but rarely know.  Fric and frac… peas and carrots.  They were my proof that real love existed. 

They adored each other.  They weren’t one of those showy, huggy, in your face kind of couples, they had a deep rooted, mutual respect for each other.  They shared 7 children together, and survived years of marriage.  He would sit up and watch her sleep when her health began to deteriorate just to make sure she was ok.  He would end up falling asleep in the easy chair in the middle of the day because he hadn’t been sleeping at night, and there she would be saying “that damn Breeze… he’s always sleeping!”  We would all smile knowing full and well why he needed the snooze. 

I met my husband not long after my Godfather (Uncle B) died.  I’m still convinced that Uncle B sent him to me- almost like his last gift to me.  I really wish my husband could have met him.  They would have gotten along so well.  The funny thing is, they are a lot a like, well… in some ways.  Uncle B was much more patient than my husband, and probably a little more light hearted, but they are both generous and kind, love their children and their wives, and they loved chocolate and beer (yes, together)  Gross I know, but they both love it.

Gifts…. they sure showered me with gifts.  They always remembered my birthday and Christmas.  They always sent a present when I was smaller, and when I became a teenager, a cheque always arrived.  They took me on a cruise to the Caribbean when I was in my early twenties- I’ll never forget that trip for the rest of my life.  They were the most generous people I’ve ever known, and I am so thankful to my parents for choosing them to be my Godparents.

I find peace in my belief that they are together again.  I’m sure they are walking hand in hand catching up on everything that has happened in the last 6 years.  Uncle B loved to tease her and I’m sure he is making up for these last years!  They are proof that true love does exist and chivalry is not dead- those are the two greatest gifts they left on this earth.

That Smell is in The Air….

The babe and I were out for our morning walk today (with the Westies in tow of course.)  It amazes me how the back to school smell is actually in the air.  It isn’t in my head, you can honestly smell it. 

There is a junior high not far from our house, and while we usually walk through the school grounds during our morning ritual, I decided we probably shouldn’t today.  I’m not sure if there are rules about ’strangers’ walking on school property during the school year.  It was fine all summer while the kiddies were enjoying their freedom, but now that school is back in, I really don’t want some teacher chasing me with a ruler.

I passed a lot of kids on the sidewalk.  They were all slowing making their way towards the school.  As much as I’m sure NONE of them would admit, you could see the excitement and anticipation on their faces.  The outfits that were ever-so-carefully chosen, the girls with the flawless makeup that they surely had to get up at 4am to apply.  Mixed with that air of excitement, was the look of total nausea.  It wasn’t hard to distinguish the newbie grade 7’s from the veteran grade 9’s.  It brought me way back to my first day of grade 7- then I too began to feel sick to my stomach!

My best friend’s 2 children (twins) start grade 7 today, and I was thinking about them.  I was wondering if they were on their way to their newest adventure, and was wondering if Emmy (the female twin) was battling over what to wear and was nervous about day one.  I knew Nick (the male twin) would be fine- boys always are.  As long as they have a new hat and a few buddies to go with, they are good to go.  Girls on the other hand, are tortured over everything from what to wear, what they should do with their hair, and what their friends are wearing.  Being female is soooooo complicated sometimes.

So, to my 2 best little buddies Em and Nick- all the best on day one of junior high.  I’m thinking of you guys, and sending lots of love to you- you are both well on your way to being terrific adults- you can thank your terrific Mom for that.

Bring on 30

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, and have worked really hard to put the past behind me. It has taken me years to do this (I should start an entirely different blog on that topic!)

My 30th birthday is coming up in a few, short months. I always heard that the big 3-0 was to be dreaded. I can honestly say that I’m not dreading it, but more embracing it.

My high school years were probably the worst years of my life, for many reasons. I had a lot of friends, which back then was the big measure of success, but I really didn’t enjoy that time in my life.  People from my high school days spent a lot of time judging my situation when they never really knew my story.  There have been many a day that I have dreamed of telling all of them exactly what that story is.  Maybe then, they would finally understand and might even show some compassion.

When I went off to university, I changed friends and interests. I really became a new person- one that I was a hell of a lot more proud of than my teen-aged self. My twenties involved the ending of a long-term relationship with someone who I had basically grown up with. I felt bad about this relationship ending, but it was time. Committed to my belief that people come into your life for a reason, I knew he came into my life for a specific purpose. When that chapter was over for us, it was time to move on.   I am happy to say that we are both happier people apart.  He was a good person, but not the person for me.

As a budding professional, I spent my twenties learning the ropes of the professional life.  I learned many a lesson about who to trust, what to say, and most importantly…. what NOT to say.  I’ve been through many different and exciting positions in a few short years, and am proud to say that I am well into a successful career before I even turn 30. 

I look back on experiences I’ve had in different jobs, and I laugh at how worked up I got over so many trivial things.  If only we could know in the moment that 5 years from now, we won’t even remember the last names of the people we worked with.

I’m ready to embrace my thirties.  I’m a Mother and a wife, and a really fantastic girlfriend to a lot of wonderful ladies.  I feel so blessed to have such great gals in my life, a fantastic husband who totally understands me, and a beautiful Daughter that I am so excited to watch take on the world. 

I received a list once via email about all of the things you should have by the time you are a 30 year old woman.  This list follows.  Number 10 is the most important to me and the biggest of my accomplishments.

BY 30, YOU SHOULD KNOW:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of: the Prime Minister, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town. 7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
8. How to take control of your own birthday.
9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
15. Why they say life begins at 30.

Honesty Box

So.. facebook has this neat little application called the Honestly Box.  The general idea is that people who are on your friends list in Facebook can anonymously write in your honestly box, and be totally honest about what they think of you, without you ever knowing who they are.  You do get to know if they are male or female though.

I hummed and haaaaad over whether to add it to my profile.  Could my ego stand the honesty?  The more people I talked to, the more I realized that everyone had the same worry.   I decided to bite the bullet and go ahead and add it. 

I’ve gotten a few comments through it- most are pretty ambiguous.  One said; “People don’t give you the credit you deserve.”  I kinda giggled when I read it.  I really appreciated this person taking the time to send me this, but I was a little perplexed.  Does this mean others think poorly of me, and speak poorly of me to this person?  Talk about giving yourself a complex.  An over thinker like me really shouldn’t subscribe to these things.  I responded to person ‘x’ and asked them if they could give me more feedback on how they (and others) perceive me.

If your ego can stand it, it really is a worthwhile exercise in figuring out how you are perceived by others.  I am on the road of continuous self-improvement.  To do this successfully, I really do need to know what I put out there to the rest of the world.  We might think we are friendly, open and honest, but that isn’t always what others get from us.  Let’s hope this person gets back to me with more feedback. 

Radio Comedy

I was driving into town yesterday.  The radio was playing in the background and I wasn’t paying attention to the content as I was totally lost in my own thoughts.  I was out of the house for the day without Abby- she was with Grandma and Grandpa so I could get out to a work function.  Despite the fact that I wasn’t paying attention to the radio, something the DJ was saying (repeatedly) grabbed my attention, and just made me giggle.  She said:

“This is Krista Butt, hanging out.  Today we have… blah blah blah.”  She REPEATEDLY said this after every, single song played.  I wonder if she realizes how funny it sounds.  I wonder if her butt was really hanging out?  Muha….. the more she said it.. the more I laughed.  I think I need to get out of the house more often.

Love Thy Neighbour

We took the babe to church this past Sunday for the first time- she was SO good- another moment brought to you by Zantac!

Rev. Mark talked this week about the book of Isaiah and the lessons we can learn about being authentic in everything we do.  He used the example of those who might show up for church service, but not LIVE what they believe in their everyday lives.  Are we good to each other every, single day?  Do we put the best we can possibly put into all that we do, or do we do ‘just enough’?

He asked us to think about how we treat our neighbours.  Do we go above and beyond to be kind and helpful to those around us?  I thought about this during the service and on our way home.  I’ve always considered myself to be kind and helpful to those in my life and inner-circle.  I’m the ‘go to gal’ for every girlfriend in crisis (thank God for the understanding husband who ‘gets’ my girlfriends), when something is awry with anyone I am the one to round up the troops and figure out whatever we have to do to help, but… what about those who are not in my inner-circle?  I really don’t do anything extrodinary to help out others.  This hit me like a ton of bricks.

I thought about the kind of person I want Abby to be.  I want her to be giving, honest and kind.  I know that she will learn these traits from me, my husband, our families, and the people we bring into her life.  What can I do now, to start the process of being a more giving person?  I’m thinking about this… a lot.  Let’s hope I can come up with some ideas.

One thing I did do yesterday afternoon, was march my butt across the street to introduce myself to our new neighbours (‘new’ who moved in over 2 months ago!)  I’m glad I did this.  I’ve always been the ‘we don’t socialize with the neighbours’ type of person, and I feel this attitude has kept me from knowing some really cool people.  In this case, that is exactly what would have happened.  Pam was super nice, and her Daughter was really cool too.  Her Daughter is heading off to university this year, so I was able to talk to her about that and offer some advice for getting around, and what classes to take.  I told them that anything they needed to just ask.  I felt good after our encounter.  Now… to tackle hippie guy.  I think I will wait a while to start on that one!

Life’s Little Instructions

I was sitting in the Dr’s office this week, and saw a sign entitled ”Life’s Little Instructions.”  I read it, and loved it.  I wish I could find a copy to hang in my house.  I was happy to realize that I do a lot of these things.  I’m going to work on the ones I haven’t quite mastered yet.

It read:

Sing in the shower * Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated * Watch a sunrise at least once a year * Leave the toilet seat in the down position * Never refuse homemade brownies * Strive for excellence, not perfection * Plant a tree on your birthday * Learn three clean jokes * Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full * Compliment three people every day * Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them * Leave everything a little better than you found it * Keep it simple * Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures * Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know * Floss your teeth * Ask for a raise when you feel you’ve earned it * Be forgiving of yourself and others * Overtip breakfast waitresses * Say “thank you” a lot * Say “please” a lot * Avoid negative people * Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards * Wear polished shoes * Remember other people’s birthdays * Commit yourself  to constant improvement * Carry jumper cables in your trunk * Have a firm handshake * Send lots of Valentine cards, sign them, “Someone who thinks your terrific” * Look people in the eye * Be the first to say, “Hello” * Use the good silver * Return all things you borrow * Make new friends but cherish the old ones * Keep secrets * Sing in a choir * Plant flowers every spring * Have a dog * Always accept an outstretched hand * Stop blaming others * Take responsibility for every area of your life * Wave at kids on school buses * Be there when people need you * Feed a stranger’s expired parking meter * Don’t expect life to be fair * Never underestimate the power of love * Drink champagne for no reason at all * Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation * Don’t be afraid to say, “I made a mistake” * Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know” * Compliment even small improvements * Keep your promises no matter what * Marry only for love * Rekindle old friendships * Count your blessings * Call your mother *