Anti-Complain Campaign

I am on a venting fast.

A few weeks ago I pulled my perspective inside.  I sat on the other side of me, and looked inward.  Driven by the gross feeling I’ve had as of late, I decided that I needed to figure out what in my life is draining me.  I’m exhausted, and I don’t know why.  I’m eating healthy, exercising every day, sleeping, and not pregnant! (yay period- whew!) 

Given all of these factors, there was no logic explanation for my fatigue- or was there?During this exercise I examined my friendships, my marriage and my family relationships.  I realized that I have some big time complainers in my life.  Then that old adage came before my eyes; “Takes one to know one.”  Yuck!  Does that means I’m a complainer too?  I don’t want to be a complainer- no one likes a complainer.  Chronic complainers are the ones you duck out of the coffee line at work to avoid.  I don’t seem to have that issue with people, so what else could it be? 

I thought a lot about it, and thought most about what I get from these people in my life.  Does it make me feel better after I talk to them? No.  Do I feel better about my life because they have so much crappiness in theirs? Nope- not that.  That would make me a really crappy friend, which would be a bigger issue. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the reason I permit this in my life is because I feel as if I close these people down when the complaining starts, we might just not have anything left to talk about.  IF that happens, would our relationship continue?  Would I care?  I mean really, do I want someone in my life who has a relationship with me that only sustains because of the negativity that feeds it?  I think not.

So, I am going on a venting/complaining fast.  A great author Martha Beck wrote a fantastic article about this concept.  Here are the rules for my fast:

1. For a period of time, say a week or a month, stop complaining aloud about anything, to anybody.
2. When the urge to fuss arises, vent on paper. Start with the words I’m upset about. Then describe whatever’s bothering you.
3. Think of at least one thing you can do to actually change the frustrating situation. Write it down.If you can’t think of any positive action steps, simply continue to resist venting out loud. Eventually, your frustration will increase until you think, I’m so upset I just want to…! Write down what you want to do.
4. Do it. Divorce the guy, cuss in front of your fundamentalist sister, put off lunching with the passive-aggressive “friend” until the end of time.

(Taken directly from Martha’s article here.)

 So, you know my vent writings are going to end up here!  Sorry blog friends.  I wonder if that is against the rules since technically some will be hearing my venting?  Hmmmm… I wonder if Martha has an email address.